I Feel So Guilty Yet Paralyzed: Any Advice?

I'm in my late 50's and have been married for over 30 years. I'm a professor in a small college in the midwest. I've been cheating on my wife for over a year and a half with a 24 year old student (now graduated and in a graduate program elsewhere). I know it's wrong. I don't even know how I let myself fall into this mess. I never cheated before. I know if I tell my wife, she'll feel destroyed. She'll divorce me. If anyone finds out the affair started while the girl was an undergraduate student of mine, I could lose my job. But the thing is, I think I'm in love with the girl. We're in contact by cell phone and email. What should I do? Any advice?

hmm

I wish you wouldnt have said that what i lied about would keep you from loving me that day. you say you didnt mean it, but it feels like you did. i wish i never hurt you and for that im so sorry. but i wish you didnt say that because now every once in a while i have doubts about if you ever really forgave me.