I cheated on my boyfriend

I cheated on my boyfriend last night. i feel sick about it. Its not like I am someyoung stupid teenager (not that teenagers are stupid). I am a divorced mother of 3. I was in a bad marriage for 19 years, during which I never cheated. My boyfriend was in a bad marriage for 16. We only met a month ago, but have been spending nearly every day together. I cheated on him with this guy that I had been talking with online for over 4 months. We had never met because he lives 2000 miles away. He finally came to town and one thing led to another and we had sex last night. I wasn't with my boyfriend last night because some Marine buddies came to town and he went out with them. I feel worse because my bf called me at 11 pm that he was already becaue he missed me. I feel like I am sabotaging the best thing that has ever happened to me.

for attention, for care.

he didnt hit me becuase he didnt exist.