Had an affair with a younger man and now I am torn up with
A month ago I went out to a club with some girlfriends. I have went out without my husband a million times and never once looked at another guy. Well, as the nite progressed the bartender was obviously interested in me and I thought he was super hot. I told him I was married but interested and gave him my number. Then we made out in a closet. I left and in the morning I figured it was a mistake and he would never call. But he did. And 2 days later he came to my house and we had sex. I am 35, married, 2 small children and he is 28 years old, works at a bar and lives in the basement of his moms house. What was I thinking? Then a couple more days later we met in a hotel and had sex again.I told him days later that I thought we should just be friends. Then I went to that same club with my husband and I again met the bartender in the closet, made out etc. I got so drunk I cant really even remember anything. My husband wanted to go and I said I was staying, yelled at him and he got hit by a guy and now has a black eye. It was the worst thing that has ever happened. I said some super mean things and I just feel sick. I totally will never see the bartender again and I am so scared my husband will find out. He loves me so much and I do love him too, because there is no way I would feel like this if I didn't. I thought before that maybe I should leave, but after this disaster at the bar, I know I need to stay away from any scene like that and just resume my life. I feel sooooooooooo painfully guilty. Will I ever feel better? Has anyone went through this? Please share...
posted by TELLSECRETS @ 11:32 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
How can you possibly live with yourself. I say tell your husband the truth before he finds out from some1 else. Belief me, he will find out. The cheating is definitely coming back around, It's just the way it is.
Well i don't know what kind of love you think that is, but like the first annon guy said your just guilty because you did your husband wrong. If you really loved him you would have already told him.
I think the fact that you thought it was initially a mistake and then you continued to fuck him twice, and then make out with the guy while your husband was in the club with you shows the amount of disrespect, and shows how you cant think of saying you love that man. Tell him or leave him, because if you don't do one of those it definitely wont stop, your will just tack on guilt till you explode or become numb to it.
Mid life crisis. Don't tell him unless you really intend on leaving him, because I'm here to tell you men don't forgive and forget like us women. Trust me. I've been on both sides. Whore? Nah, you're no whore just horny for something new, but think about what you have to lose. And you will lose him if you tell him. Now---stay the hell out of the closet!
I am 35 years old and married with 3 children. I feel "in love", in every sense of that term with a 28 year old beautiful, fun, good spirited..etc...man. I am still with my husband but am finding it VERY hard to forget about the 28 year old who ended up telling me he wanted to marry me and sweep me off my feet someday when the "right" time came. Well, he dates and is looking for an appropriate age girl without kids abd I am still in my marraige. The hardest part is not feeling that excitement and passion with my husband. I do love him, but do not feel in love with him. Even though I do realize that my "friend" is not a realistic situation, it is hard to stop imagining if my life were different. Do not feel guilty, you are not alone. I understand what caused you to do what you did. You are not a whore, you have passion and it feels GOOD to be feel alive and beautiful again, especially with a HOT 28 year old. It actually is feel very flattering. Smile!
I am 36, married for 4 years to the most wonderful, kind, caring man on the planet. We're in a rut, we both have crazy works schedules and just haven't been 'clicking' for a while sexually. After a few glasses of wine, I posted for a young lover on craigslist not really expecting to actually find someone and follow through. I was just excited by the thought that I was being naughty. Well, I got a great reply almost immediately. We met yesterday for the first time and made out in his car like I hadn't in a decade. We met today for sex, and it was amazing. He's 19 and he worshipped my body in ways I had forgotten were possible. I should feel horrible, but I don't. I feel lighter and happier than I have in a long time. This could all come back to bite me in the ass, but for now, it feels amazing, and I don't intend to stop until I see it creating problems.
Do not tell your husband, that will ease your burden but it will not solve anything and will make him feel bad.You need to either stay with him and move on or make a break. But do not tell him.
I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FILLING. I AM 37 YRS AND HAD SEX WIH A GUY FROM MY OFFICE HE IS 24 AND I FEEL GUILTY TOO. I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND MY KIDS BUT WHENEVER I SEE THIS MAN I WANT HIM SO BAD
I hope your kids find out.
I am not a whore and I am not a bad person. I am a 53 year old women who had been in a sexless marriage for 13 years. I love my husband. I have never not loved him. but I lost myself waiting for him to want me and need and have me back in his life. I met a very sweet 24 year old man who told me things I had not heard in years. That I was pretty. That I was sexy. That he wanted to be with me. I had sex with this young man 1 time. I regret it. I wish I had not. I know it hurt this young man to have me say we could not continue, and it hurt my husband when I told him what I had done. The sad part is, had my husband told me these things i would have never strayed. Because he is the love of my life. What I did was wrong, but we all do things at some point in our lives we regret. Where will my husband and I go from here, IDK? But maybe we will learn to take better care of one another and give one another the words and love and attention we all need to make love continue and relationships last. And I hope this young man will forgive me for needing him so much, and not being able to give him the relationship he was looking for.
I am not a whore and I am not a bad person. I am a 53 year old women who had been in a sexless marriage for 13 years. I love my husband. I have never not loved him. but I lost myself waiting for him to want me and need and have me back in his life. I met a very sweet 24 year old man who told me things I had not heard in years. That I was pretty. That I was sexy. That he wanted to be with me. I had sex with this young man 1 time. I regret it. I wish I had not. I know it hurt this young man to have me say we could not continue, and it hurt my husband when I told him what I had done. The sad part is, had my husband told me these things i would have never strayed. Because he is the love of my life. What I did was wrong, but we all do things at some point in our lives we regret. Where will my husband and I go from here, IDK? But maybe we will learn to take better care of one another and give one another the words and love and attention we all need to make love continue and relationships last. And I hope this young man will forgive me for needing him so much, and not being able to give him the relationship he was looking for.
I'm 33, married for 6yrs with a 5yr old child and I have an incredibly flirty relationship going on with this hot 22 yr old guy at my work and often wonder if I would go there if the opportunity presented itself? I definately think about it and him, he turns me right on!!!!!!!
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